Yesterday, as I sat in church looking at my son, I felt a pang of sadness. For whatever reason, I thought back to the days before we knew our son, and thought about what that must have been like for him. Just a little background: our son spent the first ten months of his life in an orphanage. We met our son at eight months, but could not take custody of him until he was nearly ten months old. At least the eighth and ninth months of his life were filled with daily doses of love via our visits to the orphanage. But lately I have been thinking a lot about what he must have endured before finding his family.

I know that in his orphanage, there were many babies and few caretakers. He and his orphanage mate both exhibited coping mechanisms when we first met them, and it took several months at home for those mechanisms to reside. His main coping mechanism which I am sure he developed as a result of not being held or rocked was to rock himself back and forth. It was very sad and hard to watch. He also would grab his crib sheet and snuggle against it, I think to replace being held closely. He also suffered night terrors for a few months, which is fairly common.

The fact that he came to us so malnourished reminds me that he surely endured many nights where he didn't have enough to eat that day. This too tears at my heart.

But as I watched him yesterday, a year after bringing him home, I saw a different kid. I saw a kid with a round belly, eyes full of laughter, and arms out wanting to be held. Our son is a snuggler. He is always telling us "I hold you" or "I help you" which is code for please hold me while you go about your daily tasks. He gives spontaneous hugs and kisses. He wants us to tickle him, play to him, and sing to him. I can't imagine being any closer to our son now.

In speaking to other adoptive parents, I have found most children make this incredible transition. It really speaks volumes about the human spirit. That a child left alone in a crib for eight months could transition in less than a year to a healthy, attached toddler is a miracle in my eyes. And it is a miracle I am thankful for every day.