Comments on: Welcome or Unwelcome Stares…

By: armynse

armynse — Thu, 30 Mar 2006 02:03:50 +0000

My husband and I adopted from Kaz and have two beautiful Kazak cuties!Our daughter is 4 and is biracial( eurasian) and our son is 7 and full kazak. He is also deaf! I get some of the dumbest comments and stares. Example: Is he Korean? My answer no he's mine!Another one Oh she looks just like you! Ha!
Our daughter has the pretty almond eyes, long curly black, brown hair and the prettiest loght olive skin color. My husband and I are of Italian decent, Both very olive, no almond eyes and medium brown hair.
We just call it as we see it and found that breaking the ice is much better than quiet stares.
Before we left KAZ. I was told repeatedly by native Kazakh's at the baby house and at the medical exam. facility, " you know she is not full Kazakh. We also heard why do you want to adopt a "defective child"? They actually thought we wanted him for body parts(organ donation)!
It is just a matter of ignorance and it is all over.
My friend's daughter is biracial
(black and white) and a rude individual made a comment to her and her mother while they were in a Wal Mart store. "Well I guess your daddy is black! The daughter then only 5 yrs old piped up and said my daddy is as white as my mommy and I am peanut butter and I am proud!
Out of the mouth of enlightened children!
So let them stare and if a comment is made or it gets to you, think of a gem and let it fly!
Donna B.

By: Storm

Storm — Mon, 27 Mar 2006 16:29:54 +0000

The older folks...ah...you're just not going to be able to get those stares out of them.

The older they are, the less progressive they are in their thinking.

Most of the elderly people I know have made it clear I should not adopt a black child, however, we are adopting CC or NA (caucasian or Native American) and more than likely Native American, because I am a tribal member of the Cherokee Nation, so it's harder to find families for them.

All you can do is remember that the stares are a byproduct of old time thinking, and you'll NEVER be able to teach some old dogs new tricks.

Storm

By: mdiebel

mdiebel — Mon, 27 Mar 2006 12:46:36 +0000

Wanted to comment as a now adult (50) cuban-japanese adoptee raised in Colorado with parents of english and german descent… I grew up relatively unaware of much in the way of racial distinctions, i.e., unaware of my own appearance and how it might affect others.

As a young adult I began to appreciate it. My girl-friend’s family said, “you didn’t tell us he is mexican.” She hadn’t even thought about it… and of course, I’m not.

It has only been as an adult that this has become a conscious part of my thinking… and now that I’ve made contact with my birth mom (japanese) I’m coming to terms with the asian part.