Once you have completed the enormous paper chase, and your dossier has been submitted to Kazakhstan, you will begin the wait to your Letter of Invitation, or possibly, referral. With Kazakhstan, this timeframe can be quite unpredictable, and downright frustrating at times. I can remember there were some days where it seemed like there was no end in sight. We had been told we would travel on October 15, then December 1, then after the New Year. Yes, we did finally make it, and we brought home our beautiful son, but I spent countless hours worrying and stressing about events completely beyond my control.

Sure, you say, easy for you to look back now and say be patient. I wouldn't dare tell anyone to be patient, or "don't worry that day will come," because I can remember how there was really little consolation for the numerous delays we experienced. But what I can tell everyone is that looking back now, as busy as I am with our son, there are a number of things I could have been doing to at least pass the time, and take a break from my adoption frustrations.

First, I would have taken time to pamper myself. Kazakhstan can be the equivalent of a camping trip in some regions, and considering you will have an extended stay, now is the time to get that no-fuss haircut or some new clothes. It's also a good time to make a list of books you would like to read, and start through them, because your time will be short in the very near future. I would have also taken time to contact old friends and family members I don't see as often. Most of all, I would have insisted on more time alone with my husband.

I think most prospective parents suffer from nesting syndrome-the need to get your house and life ready for a new child. In fact, I am already experiencing it in anticipation of the adoption of our daughter this fall. So, some activities to fill that nesting need might be starting a Life Book, researching Kazak culture (songs, recipes, festivals, holidays), preparing your child's room, starting a family library, creating packing lists, confirming daycare plans (if applicable), obtaining health insurance, etc.

One of the neatest things I did do in preparation for our son's arrival was to sit down and think about what family traditions were special to my husband and I. I then tried to think of some new family traditions that would be unique to my son and his Kazakh heritage. What resulted is a terrific blend of traditions. We just celebrated "Family Day" which combines my husband's birthday (Jan. 19) and my son's Gotcha Day (Jan. 20)with a globe cake with a family holding hands on top of the world. We also celebrated Kazakh New Year with figurines of Father Frost and the Snow Maiden, as well as some Chuk-Chuk (ask when you get there, it is an awesome cake-like dessert).

So as hard as it is to face the unknown, I would encourage everyone to take some time now to pamper yourself, spend time with the ones you love, and prepare for the arrival of your child. The time will pass, as unbelievable as that sometimes may sound.