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When is “enough is enough”?
I read with interest an on going discussion on one of my groups about when enough is enough. An adoptive family had a failed Kazakhstan adoption and was delayed in the process during a second attempt to adopt; while a prosecutor explored legal requirements. The heart break (understandable so) was overwhelming for this family and she wondered if this was a “sign” that they shouldn’t adopt, wondered if they should start infertility treatment again or just accept that they should remain childless. I think many adoptive families have a moment in their journey like this……
During our final and third international adoption – we questioned why things did not go smoothly – USCIS took many months to clear us, we lost the referral of our daughter, I believe my husband was closer to saying – is this a sign to not proceed (when we lost our referral). Hopefully when someone looses faith to continue on – they’ll have someone to nudge them along as most likely all will turn out in the end. But I believe each of us secretly gets scared – what if we nudge that person and their adoption doesn’t turn out as nicely as “ours”. It is sometimes hard to offer those words of encouragement – even though we know – more than not – the parents will look back and be happy to have their children in their lives! But just like infertility – it is such a personal decision to know when enough is enough. For me, enough was enough with infertility treatment far faster than it was for my husband – I had to wait till he reached that point and opened his heart – but he is one who wonders now “why” he took so long – he wishes he wouldn’t have taken that long in the infertility journey so we had more “time” during our years to adopt. I can’t say that I ever wondered if enough was enough with adoption – like I had with infertility. I felt hope that “our” child was not ready just yet and all the bumps along the journey were there for a reason – that once our child was ready – we would travel. I think I struggled more with knowing when enough is enough as far as how many children to have. At times I feel like we can parent one more – but other times it takes all that I can to parent the three we have. Perhaps having two ‘sets’ of children add to that balancing act? One child already married and building a family – while two young ones at home! Bottom line – my life is full – we’re happy – but just sometimes that thought does creep in – “when is…. enough is enough”. 
Hoping that you don’t have too many bumps in your journey and one day you’ll realize why so many twists and turns happened as you tuck your little one in to bed at night.
