Some say yes, others no. What are your thoughts?

We have been thinking lately of adopting an older child, either now, or the next time around. Our son is 27 months old. I think adopting a three or four year old would be terrific. So I have been pouring over various articles and websites trying to get an idea of the pros and cons of older child adoption and adopting out of birth order.

Cons: I think the cons pertain more to the child or children already in the home rather than the newly adopted child, not to say those concerns are not very important. From what I can tell, the older the children involved the more of a problem this might pose. However, many families have... more

We all come from different backgrounds, different cities, different families. We all have our reasons to adopt. Adoption is not a single, isolated decision; it is a journey. We assumed our journey would end at the adoption of our first child, and we would simply mimic the process for our other children. I was very wrong.

When we first got married, we weren't talking about adoption. It had always been in my heart, because as a former teacher I had worked with institutionalized kids, and as a juvenile attorney I had worked with many kids whose parental rights had been terminated. Still, my husband and I thought we would first have biological children.

After that didn't happen,... more

Following yesterday's lead, I am going to continue with a few more "entry-level" posts about the international adoption process. I know some of you out there are old pros and I apologize if this seems rather simple for you. I just want to get these basics covered so people can access them in the archives from here on out.

So yesterday we looked at what a homestudy entailed. Today we are taking the next step: your appointment with USCIS and filing your I-600A.

The first step is determine whether your district office accepts walk-in appointments or requires an appointment through infopass.... more

Sometimes I mistakenly assume on here that this audience is full of people who have completed Kazakhstan adoptions. To the contrary, I am reminded by some of your questions and emails that there are many readers at the first leg of this journey. So tonight I thought I would step back and discuss one of the first "adoption events" so to speak: the homestudy.

After you have selected an agency and country, usually the next step is for you to start assembling your dossier and to work towards that coveted I-171H, which is basically the U.S. pre-approving you to adopt. The homestudy is required for both your dossier and the I-171H, so it is one of the first tasks you should tackle.

Your... more

I want to bring up a topic that could affect many of you adopting from Kazakhstan, and it will certainly affect those who are adopting from China.

As you may or may not be aware, to adopt from Kazakhstan you must first receive approval from the United States to adopt an orphan abroad. When you actually complete the adoption, you will file form I-600 (Petition to Adopt) with the United States Embassy in Kazakhstan. But prior to travelling, you will file the I-600A (Pre-Approval to Adopt) in your District USCIS office. When you are approved, you will receive the I-171H from USCIS signifying you have been pre-approved to adopt. At the time you file the I-600A, or closely thereto,... more

If you ask our two year old son, a kiss from me can fix darn near anything.

I know I am one of those moms who probably dote on their child too much. I run to him each and every time he cries. When he wakes up in the morning, I don't wait to see if he will go back to sleep. I crawl in bed with him and ask him if he wants me sleep with him. The answer is always yes.

So lately, our son has been "suffering" many injuries. He has figured out that when he gets hurt, Mama is going to be there, and lately, he doesn't like to be very far from Mama at all. So if he feigns ill, or hurt, its a way to get Mama's attention.

It started in bed one night. We had finished reading... more

If you have made the decision in the title of this post, good for you!!! No doubt, you have already had a lengthy journey in starting/adding to your family. Maybe you wanted to adopt because it is something you have always been interested in, or maybe you hope to adopt because you have tried unsuccessfully to have biological children. Maybe you would like to add to your family with a child of a different gender. It really doesn't matter how or why you made the decision-you did it! You must feel excited, happy, anxious....and then probably overwhelmed with the question of what do we do now? We have all been there, and this post is dedicated to walking you through those first steps after... more

I had a late night phone call last night. I know the caller didn't realize it because she is two time zones away, and I was up shopping for curtains online, so I didn't mind a bit. Hopefully she is reading this!

The purpose of the call was my former coordinator for our Kazakhstan adoption is now branching out from only working within his agency, and is facilitating Kazakhstan adoptions on his own. This nice woman was calling to ask what I thought of our coordinator. At first I was apprehensive about this idea, after all, aren't we all safer using... more

We've all done it. Call it nesting, call it a shopping addiction, but all of us who are adoptive parents went shopping for our kids prior to bringing them home. If you are a waiting parent, you may have already started your shopping, or you might wonder, when is it safe to start buying things for our child? I know shopping gave me a sense of security and made me feel like I had something very important to do to get everything ready for my son. And it's fun!

We had requested an infant boy, and I was 100% confident that would... more

Adoption agencies certainly hold the upper hand when it comes to power in adoption. Think about it. Their clients, potential adoptive parents, have sought their assistance because they want to adopt a child. They want to start a family, or add to a family. Adoption agencies know that they hold the dreams of these families in their hands.

Potential adoptive parents certainly want their adoption agencies to like them. They certainly don't want to do anything to make their agency mad. Parents worry they call the agency too much, that they bother their Social Worker with silly questions, that they are being impatient about the wait. They worry that if they don't please their agency,... more